Recent Movies

Killjoy Goes To Hell (2012)

REVIEW BY: Jeffrey Long


COMPANY: Full Moon Entertainment

RUNTIME: 90 mins

FORMAT: Screener

PLOT: This time Killjoy is being accused in a court of Hell of not being evil, since he let one of his victims (Sandie from Killjoy 3) get away, and Killjoy must rely on his only chance of proving how evil he really is... get Sandie into Hell as his witness.

REVIEW:
After watching the first dreadful Killjoy movie, I never would have thought that it would get a sequel, much less three of them. But 12 years later here we are with Killjoy 4 about to be released, and the fine folks at Full Moon have sent an early screener copy my way.

Killjoy Goes To Hell actually has what I feel is the most interesting plot of the entire series thus far – Killjoy is on trial in Hell for not being evil enough, due to getting defeated at the end of the previous movie. Alongside that, there's a second plot of Sandy, the lone survivor of that movie, now in a psychiatric ward, unable to stop laughing due to how the previous movie ended. That is, until Killjoy sends his three minions up, also returning from Killjoy 3, to break her out of the ward and drag her down to Hell in order testify as to how evil he really is.


This movie also marks the first time in the series that one entry is a direct continuation and sequel to the events of the previous entry, seeing as how the events of this movie happen in direct response to the events of the previous movie, in addition to bringing the main female lead back as well. In addition to her, Killjoy's three evil clown entourage from the previous movie are also back. They were a strong addition to Killjoy 3 and I think they're not only a welcomed addition to this one as well, but they actually have more to do and have more screentime in this entry, making me love them all the more. Even Killjoy himself is played by the same guy who has so-expertly played him in every movie from Killjoy 2 on, and by this point the role seems to be second nature for him, making Killjoy the funniest he's been in the entire series. Actually, this overall entry is filled with much more humor and laugh riots then any previous entry, and luckily the majority of those jokes (be it visual, dialog, or just comedic timing) are all hits instead of misses, so if you're looking for a wacky crazy-funny Full Moon movie for a drinking party viewing, I would say this is the one to go to.


Really, the only negative I can think of for this entry, is lack of kills. The one thing the series has always been good with, even in the dreadful first entry, was really nice, inventive death scenes. Sadly, since Killjoy spends the majority of the movie on trial in Hell there's hardly any kill scenes here and when we do get them, it's not until toward the end, which kind of confuses me since the only reason anyone would be watching a Killer Demon Clown movie would more then likely be for the death scenes, especially considering how good the previous entries were with those.

Luckily though, the movie keeps the laughs coming hard and frequent enough that you don't even really stop to think about the fact that nobody's been killed yet, until someone actually finally does get killed, and by that point it's almost the end of the movie anyway so you're not left to really ponder it for very long.


This overall series is quite an enigma to me – it started off as the absolute crappiest of the crap yet somehow each entry just keeps getting better and better then the one before, topping out at a near-perfect low budget horror/comedy, which gives me hope that Killjoy 5 will be a perfect 10-star B-Movie if/when it comes around. Make it happen, Full Moon - I have faith in you.

8/10 rooms in the Psych Ward


Aladdin and the Death Lamp (2012)

REVIEW BY: Jeffrey Long



COMPANY: Chesler/Perlmutter Productions

RUNTIME: 84 mins

FORMAT: T.V.

PLOT: To save the world, Aladdin must wager everything to get an evil Djinn back into its lamp before it can open a Gateway that will unleash thousands of its kind.

REVIEW: With my recent new-found love for classic fairy tales (thanks solely to being addicted to the new ABC show Once Upon A Time), I've been eating up these fairy tale B-Movies this year (Gretl: Witchslayer, Black Forest, Grimm's Snow White, ect), and out of all those classic fairy tales, Aladdin is easily my favorite. So when I heard SyFy was doing their own Aladdin-themed movie titled Aladdin and the Death Lamp, of course I got excited to watch and review it, even though I was also a bit worried, knowing how some of their movies tend to turn out.

Right off the bat, Aladdin and the Death Lamp does an excellent job with combining 'fantasy fairy tale' (giant killer beasties, mystical amulets, and the magic of the Djinn) with 'treasure hunt adventure' (ancient book they discover that acts as a code to finding long-lost treasure, plenty of swash-buckling sword fights, and races against time). Actually, many parts of the movie felt very much like I was watching a low budget version of 1999's The Mummy, or at the least a low budget made-for-TV sequel to it; the movie included a protector that tries to stop the Djinn from being re-awakened, our main group of heroes that try to stop it once they accidentally unleash it upon the world, a meaner second group of people that wish to use the creature for their own means but don't quite understand its true power, and all of that is wrapped up within adventures through a desert and a race between the two groups to get to a mythical location first. If all of that sounds like it appeals to you, then this is probably one you'll want to check out. There's even a very Mummy-esque musical score which was put to good use throughout the movie, adding a very fitting tone to many of the scenes.


Even though most of the cast seemed to be unknowns (at least unknown to me and since, as of the time of writing this review, IMDB refuses to put up a listing for this movie, there's really no way to tell one way or the other), they were all pretty above-average for this kind of movie, never once taking me out. The evil bad guys were great at being evil without being distractingly over the top, while Aladdin and his group of heroes were charming and even funny at times. The only person I recognized here was Kandyse McClure from Battlestar Galactica (Dualla on that show), and she actually was the one weak part when it came to the actors. Not that she was bad per sey, just she didn't really have much to do other then stand around in the background most of the time (until the final 15-20 minutes where she finally came more to the forefront), and when she did speak, it just wasn't as good of a job as I've come to expect after watching her for four seasons on BSG. Still, it was nice to see her in something again other then one random episode of the Canadian-made show Republic of Doyle (side bar: check that show out if you can - hilarious, action-packed, and filmed in the city I live in!).

As for the Djinn itself...well this ain't no fun-loving match-making singing Robin Williams Genie, ohhh no, this is more like the evil Jafar Genie from the second movie, if he lost the ability to speak and communicated via growls and roars. This shapeshifting lizard-headed bad boy just loves tricking whoever its 'master' happens to be, causing evil mischief and killing people in inventive ways before sucking up their souls for dinner, all the while biding its time until it can open a gateway to Hell to flood the earth with his thousands of evil brethren. And while there's not too much CGI effects work to be had in this one, what we do get (which is mostly just the Djinn itself and his various magic trickery) looks pretty good and better then average for a SyFy movie, so kudos there; there's even a scene where it changes into a really cool-looking large tiger-like creature to rip someone's throat out. As a slight side note, I'm also really happy that they decided to go with the original name of Djinn and not the much-later, more socially known name of Genie, as Djinn is indeed what they originally were referred to before this last century or so. Sometimes it's the little details that can add so much weight to a movie. Of course they added in their own little B-Movie twists to the legend of how a Djinn and its powers work, but that's to be expected and it actually added to my enjoyment via the Cheese-side of things to see how all the wishes would backfire or be twisted. In that regard actually, parts of the movie seemed almost a bit like Wes Craven's Wishmaster.


Now, when it comes to the end of the movie (well, by 'end' I mean the final 15-20 minutes) they kind of start shooting out twists in the plot at rapid-fire, some of which are really predictable considering how some aspects of the movie played out earlier, but there were a couple really good ones in there that I was taken aback by – there's a death I knew was coming but came a lot earlier then I thought it would, an unexpected death, as well as double-crosses, triple-crosses, and hop-scotch-and-back crosses (Seriously, WTF did I even just type?), and while I knew that obviously Aladdin would come out on top by the time the end credits rolled, I was completely unsure of how he would pull it off and who exactly would be standing with him when that time came, so once again, kudos to whoever the writer was or writers were for actually keeping me on my toes for the last little bit of the movie, something that is quite rare for a SyFy Channel Original.

And while it didn't bother me at all, some people may find this movie has a bit of a slow start, as it's about half an hour in before the Djinn even shows up for the first time in his own movie (quick-cut intro aside), but that didn't bother me at all since that first half an hour was filled with some of those fun adventurous treasure-hunting scenes I talked about up above, and dealt with uncovering the mystery of this ancient tome that Aladdin and his buddy had discovered in a tomb (which of course ultimately leads them to discovering the lamp and letting loose the Djinn). But I feel I should probably mention it anyway, just for those who may not be prepared for that and are expecting evil Djinn hijinks every 5 minutes right from the onset. Also, if you're expecting any kind of faithful adaptation of the original Aladdin tale, then look elsewhere as the only similarities here is that there's a character named Aladdin and there's a Genie, of sorts, featured. But again, that's not something that bothers me personally because it was never advertised as being an adaptation.


From the moment it was announced, I was really hoping to enjoy this movie, and ultimately I ended up enjoying it even more then I had expected. Between my love for Aladdin stories and my love of the Mummy franchise, this movie hit all the right notes for me, and then threw a few extra ones in there for good measure.

10/10 rooms in the Psych Ward



Killjoy's Revenge (2010)

REVIEW BY: Jeffrey Long


COMPANY: Full Moon Entertainment

RUNTIME: 76 mins

FORMAT: DVD

PLOT: The demon clown Killjoy is resurrected once again, but this time he is trapped in his own realm. Using a magic mirror, he lures four unsuspecting college students into his realm where he can have his macabre fun.

REVIEW:
Killjoy 3 (renamed a couple years after-the-fact as Killjoy's Revenge) surprisingly turned out to be much better then the two previous movies, and came across as much more professionally-made. This is more along the lines of what Full Moon is known for (which granted, I suppose isn't saying much, but it's a huge compliment after watching the last two pieces of shit in this series). It's a movie like Killjoy 3 that I can come home from a long hard day at work, crack open a beer, and just put on to veg out to and have a bit of fun with.


There's some great, inventive, gory kill scenes, good characterization, actual decent acting, and the best part is that apart from keeping the look of the Demon Clown from Part 2 (which design-wise looked different, albeit it better, then it did in the first movie), this one completely ignores the second movie and is more of a direct sequel to the first movie, bringing back the rules and magical powers of Killjoy and the ways that he operates that had been established in the first movie but was  ignored in the second. There's even a nice little unexpected nod to the events of the first movie.


This one even brings in three other demonic clowns under the command of Killjoy, which helps make this movie a bit more fresh from the previous two and were a great source of extra comedy. If it wasn't for the connections to the first movie that this pulls out in some twists, I'd almost say just skip both Killjoy 1 and 2 and start with this one. Then again, unless you suffer through those two, you may not have the appreciation for this one that I do.

7/10 rooms in the Psych Ward


Major Channel Mix

Dave channel UK

KIDS CBC

LIFE OK

SAB TV

ZEE CAFE UK

XTRM Canal

Universal Soldiers (2007)

REVIEW BY: Jeffrey Long


COMPANY: The Asylum

RUNTIME: 85 mins

FORMAT: DVD

PLOT: A Marine unit sent into an island base to save a professor, meets what they are trying to save the professor from: Genetically modified super soldiers that have gone awry and have escaped from their maximum security holding cells.

REVIEW:
The Asylum is very well-known for their mockbusters, many of which I've covered in past reviews. However, despite the title, Universal Soldiers is actually more of a Terminator mockbuster then Universal Soldier, and is actually kind of a nice companion piece to Asylum's The Terminators as both movies are very similar to one another, have plots that are pretty close together, filmed in the same style, and may even potentially share some of the same effects shots. The main difference - That one is actually enjoyable and this one is not.


The acting is decent for the most part (a couple people aside), but the audio is of such terrible quality that you can't even hear the dialog half the time, so really, the acting is pretty hard to judge.  It doesn't help that it has such a jarring beginning and you're left feeling confused and lost, with hardly any explanation as to what's even going on - Seriously, as the movie starts we're already plucked down into the middle of the action with no backstory given to us as to how the characters got into the middle of this situation. It really feels like coming into a movie that you've never seen before half-way through, and being expected to understand everything and follow along. Because of this, you spend the entire movie just being lost at what the heck is even going on and who these people are.


The action and chase scenes are well-made though, with some pretty interesting death scenes (although they're pretty repetitive), but that's pretty much the only enjoyable aspects of Universal Soldiers, neither of which are worth spending the 80-odd minutes it takes to watch this. I know Asylum is known for their cheap production values, but this one takes the cake, coming across  and feeling like having been slapped together from initial idea phase all the way to production completion over the course of just a week.

3/10 rooms in the Psych Ward


Energy Canal

Laxexta 3

Lasexta

KBS WORLD HD



Channel5 USA +1

Horror Channel

CNBC Europe (UK)

Channel 5+1


Channel 5 Star+1


Channel 5 Star UK


Killjoy 2: Deliverance from Evil (2002)

REVIEW BY: Jeffrey Long


COMPANY: Full Moon Entertainment

RUNTIME: 77 mins

FORMAT: DVD

PLOT: En-route to a run-down shelter they are set to renovate as community service, a group of juvenile delinquents and the two chaperones accompanying them run into a minor setback when their bus breaks down on a deserted highway in the middle of nowhere. When trying to find a phone, one of the teens is shot and the group finds shelter with a voodoo priestess. While trying to use voodoo to save their friend, two of the teens accidentally unleash the evil spirit known as Killjoy.

REVIEW:
Much like with the first movie, Killjoy 2: Deliverance From Evil also appears to have been filmed on a home video camera, with the video and audio that you would expect to come from such. Also like with the first movie, It takes way too long before anything happens in regards to the title character showing up (over halfway through the movie in this instance), and even after he shows up they completely disregard what was established about his character in the previous movie, and the things he can do, powers-wise. Gone is the warping in and out of his demon-created mind-bendy dimension - this time around he's just another generic teen slasher that could easily be replaced by Jason or Michael if it wasn't for the constant one-liner attempts.


However, despite the lack of continuity with the first movie, this one is actually slightly better. To start, there's actually some semblance of a coherent plot this time, in a setting that actually has the potential to be creepy (lost in the middle of a forest during the night), with characters that we actually get to have some characterization for and can kind of get behind, despite being teen trouble-makers in Juvi. And even though it's a different actor for the demon clown this time, the guy who plays him is still really good, if not better then the guy in the first. Actually, he's one of the few decent actors in this.



Overall, while this one is better then the first movie, it only is by just a smidgeon, as while it improves in some areas (plot and characters) it also takes a step back in others (I preferred how the first movie handled the character of Killjoy more then I did this one, giving him more interesting things to do other then just be a generic teen slasher). Still, at least it's a step in the right direction, and I've still got another of these things to go through, so just maybe that will continue the trend started here.

4/10 rooms in the Psych Ward


ITV Polski

Tele5 Polska

Abkhaziah TV


WARNING 

Saluran ini adalah saluran khusus Dewasa (18 Tahun keatas) dan mengandung unsur pornografi yang dapat merusak moral anak bangsa dan berdosa (zinah mata). Harap Close jika anda mengerti.

This channel is a dedicated channel Adults (18 Years and above) and pornographic that may damage the morale of the nation and sin (adultery eye). Please Close if you understand.


هذه القناة هي قناة مخصصة كبار (18 سنة فأكثروالإباحية التي قد تؤدي إلى تلف نفسية الأمة والخطيئة (العين الزنا). الرجاء إغلاق إذا فهمت.




Red On TV Korea Adult

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Live Ting TV


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WARNING 




Saluran ini adalah saluran khusus Dewasa (18 Tahun keatas) dan mengandung unsur pornografi yang dapat merusak moral anak bangsa dan berdosa (zinah mata). Harap Close jika anda mengerti.



This channel is a dedicated channel Adults (18 Years and above) and pornographic that may damage the morale of the nation and sin (adultery eye). Please Close if you understand




. هذه القناة هي قناة مخصصة كبار (18 سنة فأكثر) والإباحية التي قد تؤدي إلى تلف نفسية الأمة والخطيئة (العين الزنا). الرجاء إغلاق إذا فهمت.











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Cinero Adult








X Music Adult


WARNING 

Saluran ini adalah saluran khusus Dewasa (18 Tahun keatas) dan mengandung unsur pornografi yang dapat merusak moral anak bangsa dan berdosa (zinah mata). Harap Close jika anda mengerti.

This channel is a dedicated channel Adults (18 Years and above) and pornographic that may damage the morale of the nation and sin (adultery eye). Please Close if you understand.


هذه القناة هي قناة مخصصة كبار (18 سنة فأكثروالإباحية التي قد تؤدي إلى تلف نفسية الأمة والخطيئة (العين الزنا). الرجاء إغلاق إذا فهمت.






 
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