Recent Movies

Age of the Hobbits/Clash of the Empires (2012/2013)

REVIEW BY: Michael Banno


COMPANY: The Asylum

RUNTIME: 86 mins

FORMAT: DVD

PLOT: When a village of Hobbits is attacked by dragon riding cannibals, the Hobbit Goben, his father, and sister must get a group of “Giants” to help them rescue their friends and family.

REVIEW: The Asylum is known for their mockbusters. So it’s no surprise that their latest has a slight play on Tolkien’s Middle Earth inhabitants, even though that’s not actually the case. Age of the Hobbits (Now known as Clash of the Empires) actually refers to a species of human that was actually discovered and dubbed Hobbits, admittedly initially inspired by the Halflings of Tolkien’s fiction novels. The situation we find ourselves is that Warner Bros. went on to sue The Asylum because of it and has thus forced not only a change of name to Clash of the Empires, but apparently a ban from release, postponing the release from 2012 to 2013, though luckily not before a few original copies under the Age of the Hobbits snuck out into the wild. I myself was actually able to find a copy of the movie on DVD at my local Wal-Mart and went on to purchase it for Jeffrey Long, the main boss of Watching Full Movie Online Free . But since I’m a collaborator of sorts for the site, he’s allowed me to watch Age of the Hobbits first and review it.


There’s really not much to say about the overall story of Age of the Hobbits...or Clash of the Empires, or whatever it's going by now. The story is pretty much straightforward and doesn't consist of anything more in-depth then what I described in the plot synopsis above. The main action starts a short way into the movie with the main village being ransacked, and the actual quest to save their family starts not soon after the village attack.

The acting is not the greatest, but that’s typical of The Asylum and really, of any B-Movie so that should be expected. The dialogue, as you can also expect, is not the best, but probably not the worst that I've seen from this company either - it had a few groan-inducing lines here and there, and certainly was a leading factor as to why the acting wasn't that great, but the rest of it was serviceable.

Likewise, some of the actual dialogue, if you look closely during some scenes, almost looked as if it could have been a bit dubbed over and that was a bit distracting at times as well. But that is really just a nitpick more then anything, especially once you get used to the overall acting in this movie.


The effects work is pretty decent however. Some spotty parts when you have the dragon creatures attacking and injuring the people, but there’s some definite decent work going on here and overall it was better then I was expecting from this movie. Something that’s a bit misleading though is the Dragons on the cover art don't look like the dragons in the actual movie. In the movie they look more like simple lizards or salamanders or something of that kind, but with wings, which is kind of misleading when you take into consideration how awesomely-designed the dragons on the DVD cover look like.

Another misleading aspect is that if you look at the DVD cover art and even the onscreen menus, there seems to be an implied epic battle scene of some sort. Well I can tell you that this is not really the case. Oh there’s a battle, which I won’t spoil much about here, but its not what you’d think and certainly not how it's advertised.


Still, I can’t say I regret this purchase nor this watch of the movie. It certainly has a nice adventure feel to it which is why I was interested in watching it to begin with, and it moved at a very nice pace, never once making me feel bored. For a one time watch, this was certainly serviceable, although probably nothing I'd ever watch again.

6/10 rooms in the Psych Ward


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A Blast From The Forgotten Past: Adventures In Dinosaur City (1992)

This is a new section here on Watching Full Movie Online Free that I hope will be recurring from time to time. This one will be to showcase and bring back into the public eye long-forgotten B-Movies that most likely haven't even had an official release outside of out-of-print VHS tapes. This first entry is a doozy from my childhood, and is a little ditty called Adventures in Dinosaur City:


Back in the early to mid 1990's, the live-action Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles movies were all the rage and there were constantly other companies trying to find their own ways to cash in on their success (the excellent animated TV shows Street Sharks and Biker Mice From Mars being chief among them). Of all these, my absolute favorite had to have been Adventures in Dinosaur City, a one-off stand-alone movie that the rest of the world has long-since forgotten, but I still have fond memories of watching and re-watching over and over in my childhood. To the point where even though it's been just about 20 years since I last saw it, I can probably still recite the majority of the movie off-by-heart with little trouble.


Directed by Brett Thompson (The Haunted World of Edward D. Wood Jr., Tornado Warning) and written by Wili Baronet (a guy who would go on to do next to nothing), this little garbage dumpster gem was made by Smart Egg Pictures, which is a company more famous for having co-produced the first five Nightmare On Elm Street flicks, the first Critters, and a hilarious sci-fi/alien invasion comedy called Spaced Invaders. Adventures in Dinosaur City was actually made as a TV movie, though I can't find any reference anywhere as to exactly what channel it was made for, though I do know it had an official VHS release at some point because I distinctly remember completely wearing my VHS copy out as a child. And to be honest, while the movie's production values are incredibly low and bring a whole new level to the word 'Campy', this actually looks almost too good (especially the amazing costumes) for a TV production of that time period.


None of the actors really went on to do anything much of note (actually, this movie seemed to have been the death nail for many of them), though the suit and voice actor for the movie's Allosaurus villain, Mr. Big, was recently in the excellent 2010 horror flick Hatchet II, and he also played Shark in Full Moon's Trancers III. What is an interesting little tidbit though, is that director Brett Thompson actually went to film school with none other than Tim Burton, and it may just be my imagination after discovering that but there are actually aspects of this movie that came across very Burton-esque in their design, such as one scene where the main cast enter some sort of fog-covered dinosaur graveyard with gigantic towering bones sticking up out of the fog everywhere, complete with one shot of a creepy dinosaur Grim Reaper statue in there somewhere.


The story of the movie involves a trio of teenagers, named Timmy, Jamie and Mick, who enjoy spending their free time watching their favorite TV show, called simply Dinosaurs, which features hip and happenin' crime-fighting anthropomorphic dinosaurs. Wanting to watch it on a better screen, Timmy, the youngest of the three, suggests that they try watching it on his father's screen in his laboratory, not realizing that the screen was part of one of his scientists parents' crazy inventions. The moment they turn it on, a vortex sucks the three into the TV screen, and plops them down right into their favorite show. Upon entering the new world, the trio comes across a flightless Dimorphodon named Forey. Although reluctant at first to help them, his knowledge of Dinosaur City proves useful as he guides the three to Tar Town (Also confusingly known by another name - Saur City - in some lines of dialog), where they join up with Rex and Tops, two dinosaur freedom fighters willing to ignite a revolution against the villainous Mr. Big and his caveman henchmen, "The Rockies".


Sure, the acting is pretty bad, especially from the no-named teen actors, the story makes no sense at all, especially in regards to their remote control that can seemingly control the world around them, and the movie is nothing but an overly cheap cash-in on the popularity of Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, but it surprisingly had a pretty engaging quest-like plot to it that took the characters to many unique and interesting locations, and I personally find that the overly-cheap set designs and matte paintings of these locations actually added to the charm of the whole thing, and the dinosaur costumes were actually pretty well-done and not far off from the technical genius of the live-action Ninja Turtles costumes.

Of course this movie would be nowhere near as good if I watched it for the first time now, but if you were someone who, like me, watched it pretty religiously as a kid, this is an excellent nostalgia trip and one where you're more likely to embrace the cheese and the bad more often then not. Heck, there's even some lines of dialog in this that are heavy on the sexual innuendo that only an adult would pick up on, so they made sure to include a few little things in there for the adults that would be watching this with their children.


For a Made-for-TV movie that's become virtually completely forgotten about by this point in time, it was actually a pretty popular little ditty back in the day, having fathered a Super Nintendo video game titled DinoCity (which actually has a much larger and more in-depth wiki entry than the movie itself does), and while I can't seem to find any reference online to it having any toys associated with it, I very distinctly remember owning a couple of them, including one of the Tyrannosaurus hero Rex that had the white portions of his skin under all his spots and freckles glow in the dark.

Even though Adventures in Dinosaur City may not have gotten an official DVD release, there are plenty of bootleg copies floating around the interwebs on sites such as Ebay and IOffer, and the country of Greece even got an official Laserdisc release back when that was the popular format (at some point during those 2 weeks...). So it's not impossible to get your hands on this title, though it is pretty difficult, and I would pay good good money for some form of official Region 1 DVD release here in the Americas, though seeing just how forgotten this movie is now, I'm not holding my breath.


Below you can view the trailer for this and feast upon the buffet of Cheese that it has to offer, and if you're still hungry for more I decided to include a few links to where you can watch the full movie Streaming online. Now, normally I wouldn't do such things, but seeing as how there's been no official release since the now out-of-print VHS tape from 1992 and I can find no information as to what company, if any, even currently owns the Rights, I decided it should be safe to do so and is probably the only way the movie can be viewed this day in age anyway. Of course if the Rights Holders get in touch with me and object to this, I'll gladly remove the links.

So, without further delay, please enjoy everything that Adventures in Dinosaur City has to offer, and let us feast on the Cheese like Kings!



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40 Days And Nights (2012)

REVIEW BY: Jeffrey Long


COMPANY: The Asylum

RUNTIME: 86 mins

FORMAT: Netflix


PLOT: When a colossal tectonic shift causes the sea level to start rising, a microbiologist gathers the DNA of as many species as she can, while the military creates an "ark" in a desperate attempt to preserve life on Earth.


REVIEW: 40 Days And Nights is flat-out one of Asylums weakest efforts of the entire year, tied with probably Super Cyclone. It very much feels more like a movie they would have put out in 2010, and if that was this case I probably would have been much more lenient on this as it would have come from an era where their movies weren't much better then this, but this year has been filled with plenty of exceptional Asylum movies that have had above-average effects, acting, and production values, so taking all of that into account this is just a huge step back in all of those departments (with the exception of the Brittany Murphy look-alike Monica Kenna, who always brings her A-game and is a joy to watch). Even the editing is quite sloppy and disjointed here.


However the one good thing about it is that the script itself is the lone saving grace. It's actually a really good story, filled with likable characters, caught in tension-filled situations, and padded with some really good and entertaining individual scenes and moments. If you can look past everything else, at least the story itself is serviceable - this is a prime example of a movie sounding way better on-paper then it does in practice.

As it stands, overall this feels very much like a 2009/2010-era Asylum movie and not a 2012 one. It would have been excellent for that era, but the bar has been raised much higher over the course of 2011 and 2012 that this just doesn't cut it anymore because I know that the folks at Asylum are capable of much better now. Between this and Super Cyclone coming out almost back-to-back, it does not paint a pretty picture for Asylum's final quarter of 2012, which is a shame since the rest of this year has seen some amazing stuff by them.

3/10 rooms in the Psych Ward



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