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Transmorphers 2: Fall of Man (2009)

REVIEW BY: Jeffrey Long



COMPANY: The Asylum

RUNTIME: 90 mins


FORMAT: BluRay


PLOT: In this prequel to the first movie, the robot invaders attack Earth in the present day, forcing a group of humans to band together and seek refuge as their planet falls.


REVIEW:
After having defeated the alien robot menace at the end of the first Transmorphers, there was only one direction to go for Transmorphers: Fall of Man – back in time. For this outing with the giant killer alien robots, instead of a full-on war movie like the first was, we get to see the original invasion that is talked about in the first movie, so it plays more as a global disaster movie then a war movie, and while I love both of those kinds of movies, it doesn't lend to as much over-the-top silly fun battle scenes. Instead we get a very slow start and when things do actually start to happen it's mostly chase scenes of various kinds – foot chases, car chases, air chases, ect, which in my opinion, isn't as fun to watch as futuristic battle scenes, and gets redundant and boring after awhile. Luckily though, the last 20 minutes gives way a bit more to robot war scenes as a pocket of surviving humans launch a guerrilla assault on a nearby alien robot terraforming plant.

But I'm getting a bit ahead of myself, so let me start back in the beginning of the movie. The first thing that I noticed in this, is that the backstory on the invasion is actually quite different then how it was said to be in the first movie. In the first movie, it was said that we detected alien life and sent out a message for peace, which was answered by an invasion force and the destruction of our planet. In this movie however, it says/shows that we shot down a UFO over Roswell in the 40's and reversed engineered its technology to create all modern-day appliances and machines. However, that was just a plan by the alien robots to integrate into our society and thus, machines start coming alive and attacking people before sending out a signal to flag the invasion force, which arrives towards the end of the movie. I look at it this way: The events in this movie are the real events behind the fall of Earth, where-as the events mentioned in the first movie are diluted by 400 years of the Chinese Whisper game and thus, the story has changed over time, whether on purpose or not, to make humans think the attack was 100% unprovoked and they were as innocent as pie.


Another difference between the two movies is that the first was a mockbuster in name-only and the movie itself really had nothing at all to do with cashing in on the success of Transformers. This one however had every intent of doing just that. This time, the robots actually transform into modern stuff like vehicles and satellite dishes and the like. There is even a small spider-like cellphone robot that is very obviously a rip-off of Frenzy from Transformers. However, that's all perfectly fine by me. I don't watch a movie titled Transmorphers: Fall of Man and expect Steven Spielberg level of filmmaking. Plus it put forward an interesting idea – How would Transformers have gone, had it only been the Decepticons on Earth and no Autobots? Pretty much exactly as it does here: Total Pwnage of the human race. But with less of a budget.

However, despite the low budget, the movie still manages to look nice. The transforming – errr, transmorphing I mean – really allows The Asylum to show off just how far they've come with their special effects over the last few years, which is miles ahead of what they used to be back when they had made the original Transmorphers. Sure, they may look like shit compared to Michael Bayplosion's transforming effects, but as far as Asylum movies go – the transmorphing effects look excellent. The acting is also a huge improvement over the first movie for the most part, but still not close to the best I've seen from this company. Over all, I'd rank it in the middle, with the occasional really bad actor (Government scientist lady, I'm looking at you). The improved acting at least helped make the characters come across as more realistic and almost like actual people, however the horrible dialog they were given kind of took that realistic approach away again.


Which brings me to my first major problem – the script. Yes, I realize this is an Asylum movie and I'm not expecting cinematic gold or anything, but it still felt to me like one of their worst-written movies. See, one of the strong points of the first movie I had mentioned in my review for that, were the characters. They were likable and interesting and the script made you care for them. I didn't give a shit about any of the characters in this movie, and a large part of that had to do with how badly written they all were. From their actions (What kind of cable repairman carries a friggin' gun in his tool box just in case there happens to be an alien invasion?), to the absolutely dreadful dialog (There is actually a scene where the Government scientist lady describes the difference between an extraterrestrial and an alien is that an extraterrestrial attacks like a friend and an alien attacks like an enemy), as well as horribly stupid plot devices (When told that the satellite dish in the back yard was really an evil alien robot, the Sheriff just instantly believes them), Transmorphers: Fall of Man really comes across as having been written by the laziest writer in the world with no care taken in respect to the first movie beyond giving the main character the same last name as a character from that movie (In this movie he's the main male lead, while in that movie it was the lesbian female General, who I guess is now considered a descendant of this guy).

My other major problem consists of the fact that we never actually see any of the cities being attacked by the evil alien robots. We follow the main characters as they start to unravel the fact that there's a secret invasion going on, they get chased to a military base by a jeep that's a Transmorpher that results in, admittedly, a rather cool action scene in which they destroy the thing but not before it destroyed pretty much everyone and everything in that base and sent a signal out to call in the invasion shock troops. Then as the invasion begins shortly after, but without actually seeing any of it and only hearing about it through dialogue, we follow those main characters as they get out of town and immediately locate a 'hidden' refuge (that was easier to find then Easter eggs on Easter Morning) just outside of the city made up of survivors of the city invasion that we never even got to see. Despite the invasion having just happened, they act like they've been out in the desert for forever. The entire segment was a horrible cop-out that had me severely disappointed. Now it may just be me, but in a movie called Fall of Man, I expect to actually see the fall of man instead of hearing about it in shitty throw-away dialog.


But back to some positives as I like to try to leave my reviews off on a high note. After that cop out of not actually getting to see the invasion, the survivors get word of the Transmorphers setting up terraforming plants all over the world, to change the planet to one that can sustain them. Finding out that one of these plants are nearby (Again, just when exactly did they set these plants up? The invasion just flippin' started 5 minutes ago), they put together a small strike force and head back into the city to take it out, leading to my favorite action scene of the movie, with some pretty gripping kick-ass action beats. This climatic scene alone felt more like the first movie then anything else in this one did. If the rest of the movie had been as good as these final 15 minutes, I wouldn't have many complaints.

I've also noticed that these more recent Asylum movies have started having really good musical scores to them, some of which I'd actually wish they would release on CD so I could buy. There's some that even though the movie is absolute garbage, the score is fantastic and it really helps bring a sub-par movie up to par at times. While there isn't much score in this movie the few tidbits that we do get, especially at the very beginning and the very end, show great promise and I wish we had gotten more of it because it really deserved to be showcased more.

Overall, while the movie improved in some areas over the first, the horrible script brought it down many notches, so I can't really bring myself to give it a better score. From a technical aspect it is definitely better, but from an entertainment stand point I found it not as good as the first Transmorphers and couldn't help but feel a tad let down. Hopefully with Transformers: Dark of the Moon coming out later this year, we'll get a Transmorphers 3 that takes place between this movie and the first, and if made right, it will take the best aspects from this movie, the best aspects from the first movie, and combine them together to form one really kick ass Transmorphers 3. However I wouldn't count on it, as I believe The Asylum reps have stated they're done making sequels.

Alas, I can still hope.

5/10 rooms in the Psych Ward


Transmorphers (2007)

REVIEW BY: Jeffrey Long

  
COMPANY: The Asylum

RUNTIME: 85 mins


FORMAT: DVD


PLOT: A race of alien robots have conquered Earth and forced humanity underground. After a few hundred years, a small group of humans develop a plan to defeat the mechanical invaders in the ultimate battle between man and machine.


REVIEW:
Even though The Asylum is very well-known for their small-budget rip-offs of big budget movies, Transmorphers is actually nothing at all like Transformers and is instead more like the future scenes from The Matrix or The Terminator. It takes place 400 years after an alien race of giant robots take over Earth, and the human resistance lives underground with the occasional trip to the surface for a mission under the cover of darkness. Very simple plot that has been done a half dozen times or so in the last decade alone, yet its a plot that never seems to get old. Much like with the Michael Bay movies, these large robots do transform, but unlike them, they only transform into giant futuristic weapons (and in one case, an actual building to trick the human soldiers), and that's about as close as it comes to Transformers. This movie was originally titled Robot Wars, but then Transformers was announced, so these guys changed the title so they could play off the sure-fire success of the upcoming blockbuster. I almost wish they never changed the title though, because it gets quite a lot of flak for being a Transformers rip-off, when in actuality it's only a Transformers rip-off in name only.


 One thing you can always count on in an Asylum movie without fail, whether it be a mockbuster or an original piece, is the acting. It's always going to be bad, no matter how good the rest of the movie is, and I do believe that this one has some of the worst acting I've ever seen – Asylum movie or not. The acting is beyond atrocious, and I seriously doubt they could have found worse actors even if they purposely went out to find bad actors, and I feel acting can bring an otherwise good movie down, or an otherwise bad movie up. Unfortunately I feel it bogs this one down. Not that I expect good acting from this company, but something better then what I would expect from a Grade 3 school play would have been nice. Another low point of all Asylum movies are the effects – due to the massively low budget this company can afford to give to its movies, the effects are the next aspect to suffer after the acting. Movies made by this company tend to have the worst effects I've ever seen – yes even worse then most of the SyFy Channel Original movies – but I'm not bothered by that. For one, as long as I enjoy the story of a movie and can have some fun with it, I don't mind bad effects, and for two, you can't watch Asylum movies and expect CGI better then something your Stoner friend back in Grade 10 could do after smoking a few grams of weed - these ARE B-Movies after all, and bad acting and effects is part and parcel of that.


 Now I'm sure it sounds like I'm giving the movie a lot of flak, and while its true that you can't review an Asylum movie without listing a novel-length worth of negatives, truth be told though I actually loved the movie and I ended up having a great time in the so-bad-its-good zone (After all, where else can you find a female military general being in a lesbian relationship with one of her soldiers with steamy make-out scenes to boot?), however if you hate these kinds of movies, or movies from The Asylum in general, then stay far away cause this one won't be any different. For those that plan to enjoy this movie for what it is though, be on the look-out for one hell of a plot twist about an hour in, that I can admit I did not see coming at all and I applaud the writer for throwing that in there. These movies tend to be as generic and predictable as they come, but this one threw in a pretty clever plot twist that I wish most big-budget movies would have the balls to do without giving it such a lead-up that a two year old could see it coming (Granted, the most recent Terminator movie did the exact same twist, but this came out several years before then, and did it in a much more subtle way).

Another point in favor of the movie are the characters. I was quite surprised at just how interesting and well-written these characters were - for the most part I actually cared about what happened to them, and I loved watching them on-screen. Whether it be over-acting scenery-chewing as someone casually tells off the General, or just friends standing around and chatting about the old days, or be it in the thick of man vs machine battle with explosions going off all around, I never once got sick of watching these characters, despite the horribly cheesy acting from those portraying them. Actualy if anything, the dreadful acting may have added to the entertainment value. The one issue I do have with this part though, is that the audio isn't very good on the DVD, as there were a lot of instances where people were either talking or out and out shouting at each other, yet you can't hear a single word because the volume of their speaking is very low, compared to the audio of the music soundtrack and explosions, gun fire, and other sound effects. I'd say a good 25% of the dialog in the movie is missed simply because you just can't hear what they're saying, and it's a shame that some of that includes dialog that's supposed to be important to the plot.


If nothing else, this movie is just filled with plain ol' fashion fun. Future resistance fighters blasting away at giant killer robots in a post-apocalyptic world is always fun to watch, no matter how good or bad the movie turns out, as you just know you'll get lots of explosions, swearing, violence, death, and everything else that makes post-apocalyptic evil robot movies fun. It also never stays slowed down for long. The movie starts with a giant battle that goes on for quite some time, then we spend about 15 minutes or so in the underground base to establish our characters (during which we get a 4-way cat fight between a bunch of hot military girls). And then it's back to the surface for another mission, which takes up the remainder of the movie and hardly lets up on the action.

So in the end, yes this movie is far from great, even by Asylum standards, but it is one hell of a fun ride if you don't mind low quality B-movies.

7/10 rooms in the Psych Ward



 
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