The Prophecy II (1998)

REVIEW BY: Jeffrey Long

Company: Overseas FilmGroup

Runtime: 83 mins

Format: BluRay

Plot: Arch Angel Gabriel returns to try to destroy the future hope for the human race he despises so much, with the help of a suicidal teen girl and the opposition of the angel Danyael.

Review: There's just something about religious thrillers that I love. I'm not particularly a very religious person, but I love all that mythology that we hear about while growing up, and its for that reason that, a few issues aside, I really loved the first Prophecy movie (Or God's Army, depending on where you live in the world). That first one was theatrical and all following entries (and there are quite a nice handful of them) were Direct-to-Video, so that probably means they can't stack up to it, right?

Well you could kind of say that I suppose, but then you would be wrong. In The Prophecy II (sometimes found with the subtitle Ashtown and sometimes not), Lucifer spits disgraced Arch Angel Gabriel (as played to perfection by Christopher Walken returning to the role, not scared by the lower budget) out of Hell for reasons that are never really touched upon other than “Not even Hell will have you.”, and the fallen angel resumes his War on Heaven, where he left off in the previous movie. This time, he's after a woman pregnant with a Nephilim, which is a baby born of both human and Angel, as it has been foretold in a new Prophecy made by Elias Koteas' character from the first movie (but played by a different actor here, and back being a monk again) that a Nephilim will end the Second War in Heaven and return peace to the Universe. However, the woman is being aided by the Warrior Angel Danyael, who was the one that actually impregnated her.

Initially I never liked this Terminator-wannabe of an entry nearly as much as I did the first movie, but over the years and upon several re-watches it really grew on me to the point where I actually now enjoy it a bit more, but just by a sliver.

With the first movie I couldn't really argue with anyone that felt it was very slow-moving and boring, however The Prophecy 2 is a much more action-packed and fast-paced entry, as this one is essentially just one long movie-length chase scene. As mentioned, this is the 'Terminator' entry in the series, what with Gabriel chasing a mild-mannered woman through the city during the night in order to kill her before she gives birth to mankind's savior, and the entire movie is pretty much 'run, hide, get found by the methodical bad guy, run, hide, get found by the methodical bad guy, and just keep repeating'. I know that doesn't sound very interesting, and the repetitiveness of it was one of the reasons that I didn't like it very much my first time watching it, but over time and during the course of several re-watches, I grew to appreciate the faster pace of the 'cat-and-mouse' plot because, as repetitive as it gets, there's at least always something exciting happening and the movie never gets dull, making it easier to digest for the average person than the slower-paced first movie probably is.

It also helps, at least for me, that despite the faster pace it still manages to expand upon the excellent world-building mythology that I loved so much in the first movie and couldn't say enough good things about in my review for that one. The strongest point of the entire Prophecy movie series, to me, is the excellent world-building background mythology that keeps getting fed to us in each movie. So much so in fact, that I'm still picking up on missed morsels of it in dialog here and there each movie, even after umpteen rewatches, that just keeps adding to the experience for me and gives me something new each time I watch them. Even after five movies, I feel the potential of this series has only just begun to be tapped and this is a movie universe I would love to keep getting more sequels for, so I can spend more time exploring it.

The characters that populate this movie also keep it interesting and, if anything, I think I actually like more than the characters in the first movie. Once again everyone acts their part perfectly, but this time Christopher Walken, while just as badass as ever, is matched in terms of acting by some of the other actors, who mostly all turn in better performances than you would expect to find in a Direct-to-Video sequel. Jennifer Beals plays the main female lead and while she was pretty bland and forgettable at the start of the movie, once the action really starts getting going and she gets into the thick of the Terminator-esque plot, that's when she really starts to shine, with my favorite moments of her being when she goes head to head against Christopher Walken's Gabriel himself, as those two played off of one another so well. Also, a young Brittney Murphy did an excellent and very enjoyable job for one of her first starring roles, taking on the role of Gabriel's undead slave that he brings back to life after she tries to commit suicide with her boyfriend, as he still yet can't comprehend human technology, nor how to drive a vehicle and needs her assistance, culminating in some pretty hilarious moments. Even Eric Roberts pops up in the second half of the movie as the fellow-famed Arch Angel, Michael – you know, the one that ultimately beat back Lucifer and sent him down to Hell during the first War? Now he's in charge of looking after the supposed-safe haven of the infamous 'Garden' of Eden, which has since gotten a modern-day industrial makeover, and he plays the role in such a way that you're not quite sure if he can be trusted or not, and it leads to one of my favorite and more suspenseful sequences in the entire movie.

This entry is also much darker then the first movie was, both in tone as well as the filming style. Where that one took place primarily during day scenes, this one takes place entirely over the course of one night, and even though in the end when the good guys win, we as viewers (in addition to the characters themselves) are still left with a sense of foreboding doom to come, and ends things off on a bit of a bleak cliffhanger that won't be resolved until the third movie (and final movie for this specific story arc, as The Prophecy 4 and 5 deal with entirely all-new characters and an entirely all-new story). I also still really love the portrayal of the Angels in these movies. For those familiar with the hit TV show Supernatural, they are almost identical to that of how they are portrayed in that show, which is one of the reasons I love them on Supernatural (especially in Season 4 when they were first introduced, it was essentially a season-long crossover between Supernatural and The Prophecy, however now in Season 9 I'm feeling they're dragging the bottom of that well a bit, but I suppose all of that is for a different type of review).

My only big complaint is that with the runtime so short and the movie so fast-paced, it zoomed by and was over before I really had time to process most of what I had just watched, which means it definitely requires multiple viewings to pick everything up, especially where that excellent world-building dialogue is concerned. An extra 10-15 minutes would have been nice to break up the frequency, in addition to the repetitiveness, of the chase scenes and perhaps that time could have been used to give the human characters a tad bit more solid characterization; While the Angels and the whole concept of the various wars in Heaven were all given more-than-satisfactory backstories and characterizations, the human characters were left in the dust a little bit and felt a tad underdeveloped.

While The Prophecy II still has a few faults of it's own, despite my initial gut reaction the very first time I watched it, I actually now feel it's an even stronger and more enjoyable movie than the first Prophecy flick, if only slightly, which is saying quite a bit considering that one went to Theaters and this one was Direct-to-Video. A faster pace, better characters, further world-building, and yet another excellent portrayal of the main villain by Christopher Walken all make this a very worthy sequel in the Prophecy series.

After tying up a couple loose ends from the first movie that promises to make the next entry different from anything that's come in these first two installments, and ending things off on a sort of cliffhanger-style note of forebodingness to come, I really can't see how anyone that enjoyed these first two movies wouldn't be excited to see how the conclusion to this first story arc will play out in The Prophecy 3: The Ascent.

8/10 rooms in the Psych Ward

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Manborg (2011)

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13/13/13 (2013)

REVIEW BY: Jeffrey Long

Company: The Asylum

Runtime: 87 mins

Format: Screener

Plot: For millennia, calendars have added an extra day every four years. In doing so, they violated the ancient Mayan calendar. Now we are in the 13th month of the 13th year of the new millennium, and the few who survive will have to battle a world of demons.

Review: The Asylum's been releasing a nice little unconnected trilogy each year for the past few years, of numbered titles. I'm talking about 11/11/11 during the fall of 2011, 12/12/12 during the fall of 2012, and now 13/13/13 during the fall of 2013. For the most part they're unconnected, but they kind of are related, thematically - well, at least the first two, while this one much more loosely.

See, both 11/11/11 and 12/12/12 deal with demon children. In the first it's about a boy that turns 11 on 11/11/11 and he's meant to be the anti-christ. I never did a review of that one, but it was a decent effort – great atmosphere, some creepy Omen-esque scenes, and a great climatic third act. 12/12/12 (again, I never did a review of that one) dealt with a baby being born at 12:12 on 12/12/12 and that baby is, once again, the anti-christ, only in this version it's actually demonic from the start, looking like a demon baby and knowing full well that it's a demon baby and it kills all those around it that tries to get in its way of...well, it's never really made clear. Bringing about the apocalypse? I don't know for sure cause that movie was a total and utter unintelligible mess of characters acting out of character from scene to scene, story jumping around with no logic or proper story structure to it, and a complete lack of any sort of climax or satisfying ending. It was just plain dumb.

Well 13/13/13 (a title that, sadly, took me way longer then I'm proud to admit to realize doesn't really make sense, initially) does indeed once again deal with demons (sort of. We're told they are demons on the cover art and in the synopsis on the back, but that's about all we have to go on for that), but it's not very kid-centric like the first two. Sure, there are some scenes of a kid being involved in the weird going-ons, but it's not exclusive to kids - this thing is just affecting everyone, adult and kid alike, so it kind of breaks the mold there. For good or bad (depending on the entry), I actually kind of like the idea of an annual Asylum-made anthology movie series where the movies themselves aren’t directly related, but they all share the same theme – that being child demons, and they each are titled #/#/# (insert proper year number where applicable), but each with it's own unique story, made by a different director, so it's kind of disappointing that they break away from that mold here, however in the greater scheme of things that honestly doesn't matter much because that was just my own personal pet preference and never anything that was promised.

As it turns out, the title does actually make sense within the context of the movie, for reasons that I'm sure anybody can easily guess, but just in case you can't, it deals with clocks mysteriously changing to 13:13 for no reason, and weird behavior coming over a large percentage of the population, such as squishing and eating bugs off the ground, scratching non-stop at their skin, cutting themselves, random and total uncontrollable anger overtaking everyone, which in turn leads to the hospitals filling right up and essentially the world outside turning to shit, and it doesn't take long at all after that before the world just descends into utter chaos everywhere as everyone starts becoming gleefully overly-violent crazy but almost in a zombie apocalypse kind of setting (if anyone ever saw 2007's The Signal, it's kind of similar to that movie, but without the actual signal transmission part). As it turns out, thanks to the leap years and some other mumbo jumbo they half-explained it away with, our current understanding of the calendar is wrong and we're now supposed to have a 13th month of which this is, as well as the 13th day of  said month, during, obviously, the year 2013, and that has somehow opened everyone up to this plague of rage-violence (which we're never given a why they are opened up to that), with the exception of those born on a rare leap day of which our main leading man was, although reasons why for that are also left pretty vague. Even the brief explanation we do get is delivered to us from some at-the-time random distraught character in the hospital who is also safe from being infected, although once again it's also never once explained how she actually knows all this. As you can see, pretty much nothing at all in the movie ever actually gets explained, except for the fact that we now have a 13th month due to calendar issues. That's about it for explanations. In more capable hands I could see that almost being on purpose, but the things we don't get explanations for here are very obviously just due to lazy writing and nobody that's involved ever really giving a shit.

In addition, the movie's dialog is just downright awful, with terribly-structure conversations and really awkwardly-delivered exposition all over the place, with hardly any spoken words coming across as anything even close to sounding natural. Of course it's not helped by the fact that the actors are atrocious, even by the low standards set by other Asylum titles. Yes, this is indeed a new low in the acting department and honestly it made portions of the movie that were otherwise just fine, very hard to sit through without feeling embarrassed for everyone on-screen. It wasn't helped by the fact that the number 13, whether directly related to the movie's title or not, gets thrown around way too much, being shoehorned and forced into the dialog at least once every single conversation and showing up, visually, in what seemed like every single scene. We get it, the movie's title is 13/13/13. Can we finally move on now? Nope? Ok then...

While all those things really bring the movie down quite a bit, there actually is still a bit here for fellow Asylum-Lovers to enjoy. For instance, with everyone getting angry over every little thing and loosing their minds to utter insanity, in addition to seeing all the people in the hospital that have cut themselves and done other unspeakable things to themselves, or others who have had said unspeakable things done to them (eye gouging scene for the win), there's a great sense of growing unease, especially since at that point (or any point, really) we still have no idea why any of this is happening, so we're just as in the dark as the main character. It's helped along by some truly downright creepyimagery, like our main leads walking down an abandoned hospital hallway with the walls streaked all over with blood, or a crazy person using his own blood from his own gouged stomach to write a giant 13 on the wall of a house, or any shot where we're following our main characters in the front and center focus of the camera but we can see behind them people being ripped into or torn apart or violently attacked in some other fashions, it's pretty much images directly from your nightmares realized right on the screen. Also, during parts of 12/12/12 and the entirety of Rise of the Zombies the folks at Asylum utilized this blue tinting to the screen for whatever stylistic choices, but it had yet to be used to as great effect as it is in this movie. No extra attention is drawn to it, but having this weird blue tinting actually helped add to the unnatural feel of everything, further that troubling sense of unease.

While the events of the movie unfolded around our two main characters, it also kept cutting back to these two best friends holed up inside a house, trying to keep the other crazy insane infected people out, while also totally unraveling themselves, and oddly enough these parts of the movie did not annoy me as much as I expected them to. Sure, there were times I wish the movie hadn't cut to them as it ruined the flow and momentum that had been building with our two leads, but most of their scenes were an even mix of creepy and hilarious, and it was quite interesting that I found myself wondering and worried about when these two crazed best buddies would start turning on one another. It was a side-plot that while not needed, I still actually enjoyed for the most part, although I could have done with a tad less of it.

Also, I would be remissed if I did not mention a little factoid that I found interesting (though I'm pretty sure I'm the only one amused by this) – one half of the main character duo for this, the female character, was played by Erin Coker who also had a role in 11/11/11, and in addition to that Jared Cohn had a cameo role here and he was also the director of 12/12/12, so it's kind of amusing that once again, these three movies indirectly tie together in unexpected ways.

By the time the credits rolled on 13/13/13, I found that I didn't enjoy it quite as much as I did 11/11/11, but despite it's many issues it was still waaayyyy better then 12/12/12. Overall I can't deny it's a troubled movie, and I went back and forth quite a bit as to if I was going to land my score on a 5/10 or a 6/10, but in the end I still kind of enjoyed this nice little addition to the annual Demonic Numbers anthology, as I like to call it (11/11/11, 12/12/12, 13/13/13 and they all deal with demons, of sorts, hence the Demonic Numbers Anthology), and while it may not be the best in the so-far 'trilogy', it is the creepiest and the one that portrays a strong sense of unease and dread the best. It's just a shame that it's weighed down quite heavily by abysmal acting and downright lazy writing.

I hope they find some way to continue this next year with 14/14/14 because I'm interested in seeing where they go next with the demon ideas, but if not then 13/13/13 was still a nice capper to the Demonic Numbers Anthology, starting things a bit low-key and local in 11/11/11, opening the mayhem up a bit and leaving things off on a promise-to-come of total insanity during 12/12/12, and now ending everything in worldwide chaos and the end of the world in 13/13/13. Like I said, none of these three movies are directly related or tie in to one another in any sort of story ways, but thematically they actually play quite well from one to the next and almost fit together like pieces of some sort of awkward puzzle. If they do continue with 14/14/14 next year I have no idea what they can do and where they can take it from here, but I'm still a bit curious to find out.

5/10 rooms in the Psych Ward

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The Prophecy (1995)

REVIEW BY: Jeffrey Long

Company: Overseas FilmGroup

Runtime: 98 mins

Format: BluRay

Plot: The rebelling angel Gabriel comes to Earth to collect a soul which will end the stalemated Second War in Heaven, and only a former priest, a school teacher, and a little girl can stop him.

Review: I grew up in a pretty religious family setting, so even though I am no longer a religious person I still find myself loving movies (especially thrillers) with dark religious overtones, and out of those movies The Prophecy series (alternately named God's Army in parts of the world) is easily my favorite.

In the first movie of this long-running series, we follow a priest who has lost his Faith and turned cop and a small community school teacher as they get caught up in the middle of a Second War in Heaven, this one caused by the Arch Angel Gabriel who is jealous that God loves humans more then the Angels and he wants to make things 'As they were', and many of the angels have joined him, and a prophecy has been made about a 'dark soul' that will tip the tides of the War, so Simon (one of the good angels) finds this evil soul and hides it in the body of a little girl before he dies, and it's that girl that the main characters have to protect from Gabriel, who is trying to get his hands on that soul.

This is one 'Talky' movie and there's not a whole lot of action to keep the pace going, however I still find myself loving this low budget romp quite a lot, and the reasons for that are many – For instance, I love the way they portray the Angels when on Earth in their human form. They look human, but there's just something...off...about them. The way they talk, the way they act and compose themselves, the way they sit perched like a bird on the edges of objects, it's all slightly off and a bit unnaturally creepy. Anyone who watches the TV show Supernatural will actually have a good idea as to what I'm talking about here, as Supernatural took a page out of this movie's book in terms of their portrayal of the Angels, especially when they were first introduced way back in Season 4. Hell, that show came complete with a group of rebelling angels that are angry that God loves the 'talking monkeys' more then them (as Gabriel refers to them as in these movies as well), and on Supernatural they were portrayed in human form pretty much exactly as they are in this movie, from the way they talk to the way they act to even the various powers they have (teleporting, bringing someone back from the dead (or near-dead in this case), knocking someone unconscious just by tapping their head, creating fire out of nothing, being able to smell humans nearby, plus many more surprises). It really does seem like Supernatural, at least in its earlier days of Seasons 4 and 5, used this movie as inspiration for their portrayal of Angels. But I've gotten a bit off point here, hahaha, bottom line is, I love the way the Angel characters were portrayed while on-screen, adding a slight unnatural air about things.

Of course it's helped by the actors who did great with their material, with Christopher Walken as Gabriel stealing the show and probably being his most memorable role for me. From his anger and frustration at the humans, to his genuine sadness over not being in God's graces anymore, to his confusion at human technology - the guy was on-point every step of the way and if nothing else, these movies are worth watching just for his portrayal of this character alone. Joining him is also a cameo by Lord of the Rings star Viggo Mortensen as Lucifer himself, another shining portrayal that even though he only has about 5 minutes of total screentime, still manages to turn in one very memorable and downright creepy as hell performance. I also loved the twist of the main human characters having to go to Lucifer, the embodiment of all that is Evil, in order to beat the villain of the movie – after all, as Lucifer even says himself, if Gabriel takes over Heaven it'll just become another Hell and that's one Hell too many for the ruler of the One and Only True Hell. There's also Elias Koteas (Casey Jones from the first and third live-action Ninja Turtles movies) as the main priest-turned-cop character and Virginia Madsen (main chick from the first Candyman) as the school teacher that he teams up with to keep the little girl safe from Gabriel who pursues them across the New Mexico desert, and both of them do good enough in their roles, though nothing too stand-outish like Walken and Mortensen, and likewise Eric Stoltz as the Angel Simon does his job well, but his role here required him to be far more lowkey then some of the other roles. The only real sour point when it comes to the acting is that of the main little girl herself, as she was just downright painful to watch, especially during her scenes of being possessed by the Dark Soul that's being hidden inside of her – probably one of the worst child actors I've ever seen and it certainly brings the movie down a bit.

Also raising the movie up fairly high in my eyes is the eerie and perfectly-toned musical score, as well as the excellent background mythology. Many people may find the movie boring, as the action scenes are few and far between, and most of the movie is just talking, however, personally, I loved that talking because it was never pointless talking just to fill space in the movie – almost every scene's dialog did something to help establish the background mythology of this movie's universe in terms of the Angels and the Wars in Heaven, to the point where even now on my ompteenth re-watch, I still pick up on lines of dialog that add something new to the mythology that I never did notice before in any of the times I've watched it. So yes, while I can't fault anyone for finding the movie slow and boring, it didn't personally bother me because I just found myself getting wrapped up in all that mythology and world-building. Plus, like I said above, Walken's excellent performance is worthy of your full attention whenever he's on-screen (which is often), so if nothing else then that should keep your interest.

The parts of the movie however that I felt bogged things down a tad and the more times I re-watch it the more and more I feel like just fast-forward through, are the parts dealing with the Dark Soul itself. Sure, the idea of it is fine and I'm ok with it being the crutch of the movie's plot, but the stuff I hated was once it was put inside the little girl and she starts getting possessed by it and drawing violent pictures, speaking in the soul's voice, getting sick, and the eventual exorcism that the climax of the movie is built around, all of that stuff I could have done without and a large part of that is, as I said above, the performance of the little girl as she was just brutal to watch and sit through during those scenes, but another reason is that it kind of felt out of place with everything else going on in the movie and came across almost like they needed more stuff to pad the movie out with so they took excerpts from some unfinished script sitting in their vault and added them into this movie.

As far as religious-themed thrillers go, The Prophecy series (or the God's Army series, depending on where you live)is one of my favorites, partially because of the excellent better-then-average world-building mythology, partially because of the unique (at the time) portrayal of Angels, and partially because of the excellent and memorable performances from some of the (again, at the time) virtually unknown actors. However the little girl's acting will cause you to cringe every time she speaks, and I really can't argue with anyone who says the movie is slow because it very much is, however like I've said above, that didn't personally bother me at all because I was so into the mythology they were spewing at me during those scenes.

Looking back, it's actually kind of an enigma as to how this low-key drama/thriller movie spawned 4 sequels because it just seems so random when compared to some of the other series' that gave way to large franchises, however I'm glad that it did because the series as a whole is one I enjoy immensely and love revisiting at least once a year.

8/10 rooms in the Psych Ward

 

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Attack of the Herbals (2011)

REVIEW BY: Jeffrey Long

Company:  Clear Focus

 
Runtime: 81 mins

Format: Screener

Plot: After years in exile, Jackson McGregor has returned to his grandparent's home in Lobster Cove, a small Scottish village where the daily routine consists of eating, sleeping, fishing... and drinking tea. After discovering a mysterious crate of herbal tea washed up on shore, Jackson, along with his friend Russell hatch a plan to sell the tea and save the village from a rich businessman. Unfortunately the tea given to the townspeople soon turns into a nightmare, and Jackson finds himself in a village of flesh-eating zombies.

Review: MTI Home Video recently got in touch with me and offered to send some screeners my way for some of their films, and since I'm always on the lookout for more screener opportunities of course I accepted. The first one that came my way for review is for a movie I've actually heard a bit about in the past, but isn't one I really followed progress on or knew a whole lot about. Attack of the Herbals is a horror/comedy in the vein of movies like Shaun of the Dead, Dead and Breakfast, Black Sheep, The Doghouse, and movies of that ilk, and it's about an old Nazi experiment during WWII that involved herbal tea that could turn whoever drank it into zombie-like creatures, and some remains of that experiment end up in present day in some small coastal Scottish town, and it's not long until it starts causing zombie havoc. That was pretty much all I knew about it going into it. This one I believe has already been released in the U.K. and some other European countries a couple years back, but just recently hit DVD over here in Canada and the U.S. thanks to MTI Home Video.

Unfortunately, the end result wasn't quite as much fun as I was hoping/expecting, given the very unique plot of herbal tea-created zombies. To start, the main lead is incredibly unlikable, which right off the bat makes it hard to really get into the movie. He's rude to pretty much everyone around him – his so-called friends, co-workers, grandparents, old bosses - but then expects those same people to bend over backwards for him over just about everything, and blames everything that goes wrong (even if its his fault) on everyone else...and yet all these people love him? Huh? The fact that this is a character we're supposed to connect with and sympathize with makes no sense to me because he's just so unlikable. There are antagonists in other movies that aren’t as much of a whiny asshole as this guy is. And if that's meant to be part of the joke of the movie, it totally went over my head because it did not seem that way at all.

Adding to that, the movie overstays its welcome quite a bit. It's only an hour and 21 minutes, but feels so much longer. I think the main reason for that is because many scenes, especially in the first half of the movie, were only there for awkwardly-delivered exposition and most of that exposition was for things that don't even really matter in the greater scheme of the movie, so it all came across as needless padding. All of those scenes could have been cut and the movie could have been tightened up a bit. It also takes way too long for anything to happen; Other then the opening scene, and one very quick 20-second scene of a dog being eaten (off-screen, at that), it's well over halfway through the movie before anything even relating to zombies or horror-esque stuff even happens. For about 85% of the movie, it's a total ABC Channel family-drama movie through and through. I keep saying that the worst offense a B-Movie can make is to be boring, and this one came very dangerously close to that, especially since the main lead is someone I couldn't get into at all, it made that first chunk of the movie very hard to sit through. Attack of the Herbals probably could have benefited from taking the Full Moon approach and have it only be just barely an hour, but a very tight and well-executed hour.

Luckily most of the supporting cast were much more likable and fun to watch, and I wish one or more of these characters could have been the 'central hero' instead of the guy we got. His best friend is clearly the real highlight of the movie and the kind of fun-loving but down-to-earth best friend that everyone kind of wants to have. In addition to him, the main character's grandparents play off each other quite humorously, as any couple who have been married for 40-odd years probably would, and I was genuinely sad when their fates came later in the movie, and all the random miscellaneous town residents are pretty quirky and have at least one or two good moments each. Hell, even the main antagonist (a rich guy trying to buy out the main guy's family's post office land so that he can make a golf course) was a blast to watch anytime he was on-screen as he was just such a hilarious kind of asshole, especially to his servants – you could always count on his scenes for a good laugh. It also helps that the acting is pretty decent from everyone involved. Sure, it does tend to go up and down depending on the scene, but it was mostly pretty good more often then it wasn't.

As for the reason anyone would even give this movie a second glance on the shelf, the zombies themselves, wellll...as I said above, it's well over halfway through the movie before any show up. As in like, an hour into this hour and 21 minutes movie. So we don't even get to the zombie action until the last quarter of the movie, which was a huge and major bummer for me as I was expecting something along the lines of the movies I mentioned above, where they kind of just get to the point pretty quickly. However when we do finally get them, the movie is a total blast for that last half an hour. These aren’t zombies in the traditional sense – here the tea just gets them addicted and wanting more and more of this tea, until whatever the Nazis put into it has worked its way into the people's systems and turns everyone into a wacky/looney boiling rage and makes them feel like they have to kill everyone else...and they only get worse from there, having their eyes go all creepy glow in the dark Underworld-style, and they get Evil Dead-esque demon multiple voice syndrome. This twist on the traditional zombie lore may turn some away, but I personally really enjoyed it. This day in age, zombie movies have been done to death, so I always appreciate it whenever one throws in some kind of curveball to make it at least a little fresh. And as to be expected in a movie such as this, there are a ton of really fun (and hilarious) zombie attack/fight scenes filled with lots of gooey gore once this portion of the movie hits, with a couple of really unique moments that I won't spoil here but I will say that one of them involves a drunk wheelchair guy that essentially becomes a hilarious Bruce Campbell wannabe, and that both of these scenes alone almost make the entire movie worth it.

Unfortunately all that excellent zombie stuff was just too late to really save the movie. While the first hour does have some quirky characters, funny moments, and decent acting to get you through it, it's still a very long and tedious hour, following around a very unlikable lead, before the movie finally gets to the goods. Props have to be given for attempting something new in a tired and overdone genre (awesome vicious demon-like zombies created by Nazi-experimented tea sure is a First in my books), but the outcome turned out to be a bit of a fumble that could have been salvaged had it been for better editing and some tightening up of the movie. As it is, I would recommend watching the first 15 minutes or so to get a feel for the characters, and then just skip to a few minutes before the hour-mark and watch the rest from there. Trust me, you really won't be missing much in between, and the movie will feel much stronger to you because of it.

4/10 rooms in the Psych Ward

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